oh hello again! yes im back for another exciting round of blogging – ding ding! looking forward to updating this actually as its been a pretty marvelous summer! I like that marvelous. Fabulous even. Darling its been fabulous. Anyway here I am moved into my new apartment…its really nice but the girl who lived here before used alot of TCP so I had to plug and fresh for many months to get that medical ER smell out from the place..george Cloony where are ya! I HEART living along! its the most exzillerating thing! its just great to come back and not have to say bugger all to a living soul. I have been many places around helsinki this summer. There is an amazing island near me called Suurasaari which is like an open air museum for ancient finnish houses, and has a wonderfull beach. there is a nude one too somewhere but im yet to explore the delights that im sure that may bring! im dieting again so maybe ill take a dip in a few months, when i dont resemble the size of the BP oil spill anymore. Talking about that it has bothered me. I am totally more focused on environmental issues now and totally have benefitted from reading blogs and journals online. mongabay.com. Its facinating! I have also been shocked to hear that the water in finland is very polluted, mainly because of Russian dumps of waste, however I think that its getting cleaner – thankgod. If there is anything that i can do to help….anyway going off on one here. The summer has brought in loads of work, its great because the money is not bad and im paying off old debts and saving some cash now. well i say that now, its july and ive had a pretty good summer – wink wink. Few events springs to mind, the trip back to the UK started it I guess. I went back home to see my folks for a week. It was great. Although guess i should not dordle on this subject as it has no relevance to tracvelling. One thing i found odd was though, that technically I wastravelling back to my own country, but did not live their. I felt not like a forienger but kinda like one! it was very refreshing again to see the british humour and have jokes with a car-parking attendent and a couple of londoners who own a fancy dress shop. On the way back to finland i felt really emotional. i saw the last cliffs of England go from view from the plane window and silent  tears filled my eyes. I was listening to the out of Africa song, and I think that it made me realise that there is alot for me back home, and one day i think I will look forward to returning, when the country has sorted itself out and is more stronger and reliable. Finland was odd to arrive back into. I felt a little resentfull that every time i spoke english 2 old ladies would turn their heads and look at me, it was so easier in England. Well anyway i moved on again, and have now emersed myself back into life here, and you know im happy, and feel that i have made the right choice. I am staying here for one more year. My lover is coming over from Australia to visit and we will go travelling together for a while. Im really excited to see him, as I think he could be the love of my life maybe. Well after the UK I went out to my friends summer cabin in the middle of the forest. It was the first summer cabin that i had been to since I arrived this time in Finland and it was not a disapointment. It was really basic but cosy, inside full of wooden carvings, old rugs and furs and up down beds in a very old log cabin. The cabin was sat next to a pond, which was really fresh and full of fish! it was wonderfull to go and have a dip in the pond and sauna, it really makes you feel alive!! we drank alot! we smoked abit, and we laughed alot. We grilled fish and vegetables and played games and just at the right time, I was able to step outside breeth the air and see the sun set after the rain. It was really beautiful and the sound of the air carried nothing but that of birds flying high over or settleing in the trees to sleep. Thats if they could, we made abit of a racket the more the wine continued anyway!

After the midsummers I came back did alot of work and then it was time for a rock festival called  Ruisrock in Turku! wooooo hoooo! best parts were sitting in a cafe drinking a pina colada (the greaest coolest one I have had) it was so so so so hot like 34C!!! and we went there and listened to some great bands. Florence and the Machine totally blew me away as did sweedish band the Ark and Belle and sebastian were good too! The Ruisrock festival is located on a beach (its the oldest festival in Finland) since 1970s. And because its on a beach swimming is key! funny moment was when I was swimming a big cruise liner jetted by really near the beach and a HUGE wave came onto the beach the tide pulled my shorts on the beach into the water and onto the other side of the gate, right over the bungie jump! my phone which was inside the pocket made a bzzz bzzz noice, and my bus ticket home to helsinki died, but ha ha i didnt care. its only possentions and who cares about those really. I was waving my knickers  at the people on the boat whilst this was happening, whichwas by far more fun than being bothered about a stupid old samsung phone, which hardly worked anyway – bye bye phone and hello beer! oh saw an old friend whos abit of a rockstar now called emil who i have really fancied for many years, he was there playing but I got to get under the water sprays with him!

The festival ended abit oddly, as my friend was really drunk and had to look after her for the whole night woke up on a grass bank totally knackered but made it back to Helsinki in one peice!

blah blah blah summer days….so hot. this summer here has had around 24c to 33c most days. My arse is now brown. woopdidoo! anyway back onto fun things. Went to see Muse in Helsinki 3 weeks ago, was so much fun and they were totally awesome. Just loved them and the lead singer is such a dish. Anyway im going to round it up now. ding ding again. I am moving into a new phase now of the year. I just got my police records stamped here and in october will see me with a permanent adress here, which is great for a forienger. Work contract ends in september so im hoping that a new contract will be written for me, and also the girl whos apartment im renting right now is coming back to it, so I am in the process of looking for a new apartment now. So all to come and all is still uncertainly. However somehow I know that it will all be ok. got some adventures planned in September like going to Russia and eastern finland with my friend, so will look forward to updating you then! bye for now.

Hello all! who ever reads this! anyway im sure that you have been waiting with baited breath for my next update, its been a while and many things have happened to me, good and bad. Well my last blog basically described the fact that I was in Levi in lapland and had a really crappy ski accident and snapped my arm in two! that was like 4 months ago, and it seems like 4 years ago. After that i was made to go back to Espoo in finland where I was living before, the doctor told me that i could not work for 3 months, I was devistated and slowly the dream of a hot summer in Finland was melting away. Unfortunetly the snow was not and it was on record the coldest winter that Finland had seen in 20 years. Misery….what to do? To top it all I had to move out of the place I was staying in Feburary (early) arm was still in pain and very much broken, and money was not coming in any more as I had finished my job at the health food shop. So things were looking bleak. Broken arm, no job, no money, and no place to live. Go home? well…..yes it seemed like a great idea! and i knew that i was going home. Oh also did I mention i put my passport through the washing machine????  well that was as in tatters as my arm, so no going home either. Actually maybe that was fate and also a good idea it broke, beacuse its so easy to go home when things are bad, but as I couldnt then it was not an option. So i moved out of Espoo and moved into one of my friends matreeses on the lounge floor in Munkaniemi. Her name was Anna and raul and they are wonderful people, to let me stay and give me friendship. I stayed with them for one week, It was tough because I kinda wanted to go home and now my area was so public, I was being woken up in the mornings and i was staying on the sofa, it was tough. I had to move out after a week, because at the end of the day its other peoples space, and no matter how good a friend you are, its still intruding on someones life I have learnt that now. However I was talking to someone at a party that i did not no and she said i could stay with her for a week. Her name was Satu and she lived in TOOlO (with dots) really nice place near the city and her apartment was VERY small. It kinda worked with us but i think any longer than a week and she would have possiblyu gone mad due to 2 people living in a box room! but how amazing is she to let me stay with her and she didnt even know me, but through friends. I met this guy and we went out on a date, it went ok, things happened and then it went hugely wrong, and i drank myself stupid (not because of him) for 3 days solid! not good! I moved in with another friend called hanna Kaisa and she lived in kamppi. By this time it was the end of Febuarary. When I was staying at Satus I had a idea that somehow I would be OK, I kinda got into the frame of looking for summer work, as my dad said that it will not fall in your lap, he was right. Had i of not kicked myself up the arse then I would be living back in the UK again right now. I joined an agencie whom I had already a good reference to give from one of the previous agencies called urban workers who sent me to Levi to work. Amazingly she really liked me and gave me my first bit of work in a while. It was this time I was staying In kamppi and after the drinking thing! I think the drinking binge was a self inflicting defence for me, I had kinda hit the rails. I needed to work, I was fed up. I worked again in a nightclub with the newagency Active people, ended up doing really well there, and now the work was pouring in again. Still no summer contract though. this was about march/April time. ASfter a week of staying with HK I moved again to my friends empty flat Kaisa who lived in Hertoniemi, the flat had no TV, no radio, no anything. Weird but it gave me time to think. I was starting buddism as-well at this point and it was kinda giving me focus, my arm was improving and things were looking up, but still no stability with house or job, as hours were given as and when they were avaliable. After another week I moved into my very good friend now sanna flat in makkyla. She has done so so so much because she let me stay with her for almost 1 and a half months. By this time I was working loads, going out again and generally having fun. We took a trip to stockholm in sweden! it was AMAZING to get out of the city i had been stuck in Helsinki for 4 months! And no chance to get out! however whata  feeling! we went on boat so for 3 days we were away, It was icy and snowy still in helsinki but getting warmer and the snow was melting. drip drip drips of water werefalling everywhere, it was amazing to see. Still so cold though. the sea icewas breaking up into large squares and the boat was fun, we arrived in Stockholm in the morning and had a brilliant day there. Its a very classy city with alot of history and some amzing powdered buildings with quaint designs on them. We only hada  day in Stockholm but on the way back I saw the archipeligos of sweden (small islands that were iced over) well it was amazing. After sanas flat i moved again to my russian friends house in malmin. By this time I had seen a flat i liked for cheap and in an amazingarea nearthe city and right next to the sea and nature reserve. I also had signed a summer contract with the agency for full time work from June to September! I stayed with them for one week till the confermation of the flat came throgh and I MOVED INTO MY OWN FLAT! ) after 4 months! of coach surfing! when you dont have your own space its hard work, and i know that very well now, im so grateful that i was lucky enough to get this flat in pikka Huopalati just emailed to me by this girl. Had I not have left some stuff at kaisas place then she would never had written on the internet that I needed somewhere and somehow I believe all the events that have happened have been for a reason and for that I am gratefull. I was not idol when I was looking for work. i walked around  every street in Helsinki, whilst i was living with Sanna andasked every cafe and restaurant if they need a summer worker! and it was hard but the motto is to NEVER GIVE UP! I now have a really cool and cheap value for money apartment in a beautiful area. Many friends who i shared Vappu with and had fun and also a full time job. And from walking around i was offered 2 more summer contracts. So thats the update. Boring possibly but it says dont give up no matter how bad it gets, you can turn things around (with a little help from your friends) x     

sorry I have been out a little bit and not too much to my liking but ill try to summarize the most interesting points of the last 3 weeks, because it feels like I have been picked up on some jet wave and being carried miles and miles- seemingly I have kinda landed on my head but hey ho. I had a telephone call the day after I got back from Vammala, it was from my agency asking me if I would like to work in the local ski resort in Levi, which is at the almost top corner of Lapland ie in the arctic circle, in Lapland. YES was my answer. Of course im here to travel, so travel I would! and I was very excited too, and I found out how we were getting there and it was a small car, with 3 others whom I did not know, and about a 16 hour journey! north. Helsinki = bottom of Finland, Levi = Top of Finland. Finland is a HUGE country almost 2 times bigger in height than the UK about 1500 + km and also very wide although im not sure how wide! anyway it was very pleasing to know I was going to Lapland, which id always wanted to see!

The drive was hugely amazing, there was one girl I knew, which luckily made the trip easier, but by the time we had all got up to Levi 16 hours later we knew each other perticually well, also considering wine was involved, and a shot at a bar in Rovaniemi on the way, and a meal in Oulu! we arrived at Levi it was late, pitch black and had no clue where we were, but the chatting carried on until way early in the morning.

I woke up to the most amzing scene. We were staying in a large log cabin that had in all honesty seen a few parties, but the view outside was amzing! the snow was THICK! and the trees looked different. It was like being in a really really odd forest with lots of trees, and set paths that you go down, but no way of going anywhere else because the snow was waist high, so in a way it felt kinda trapping (I guess abit like you might feel if you were snowed in) still we had acar. The resort was about 2 km drive, and we met the boss who would be looking after us. Thedays seemed to follow….I was out there happily working for 3 days but should have stayed for 5. MY TRIP WAS CUT SHORT! woek was good there, a lively buzz of people, staff and some of the work was easy (ie new years eve when I was working in the most quiet restaurant with this lovely Finnish girl, and at the tick of 12 there were no guests anymore, so we watched the fireworks from the balcany, pretty poor display actually London wooped my socks off the previous year, still it was a good start to the year and I had a good feeling about it.

Went to work later that night at the main club and there were TONS of extreemly drunk finns and other nations too, but not pleasantly drunk, sprawled on the floor, passing out, girls intoxicated throwing up, drinks spilt everywhere, OK so it was so messed up it was kinda funny, but it kinda made me sick to see it!

The  nextday i had some free time before my next shift..I decided to go ski-ing! Dumb move…..after 15 years of not ski-ing I found a small junior slope to go down, something kinda said dont do it, then I was going down the hill…picking up speed and was struggling to stop! this women who was going way too fast on her snowboard crashed into me, I saw her, she didnt see me and then I flew into the air and tumbled screaming fell on my right arm and it snapped in two! the bone that is.

DAM! the pain…..my god its not even worth mentioning. A man does not cry needlessly but that brought me to tears. Then the ambulance picked me up from the slope. It was -35. I was in shock the devil women had skiied off and left me there, luckily some people stopped. The ambulance had to take me down to Rovaniemi (some 130 km south) because there was no Xray in the local hospital (weird being by a ski resort) but it meant I could stay with my friend for a few days recovering. Not a good start to the year as the doctor said I could not work for 3 months!

Going back by train as nice, the trip was good as I saw Lapland in theday. Its very eerie, and almost sparce of any civilisation, its abit like siberia! very similar actually. Sparce trees, alot shorter, thick snow and very cold. I imagine to be left there alone would be weird – no noice, just the howling wind. It was almost frightening if we were to stop. there is no-one around for miles, yet it is sheer beauty. Flat white plains, sparce areas of trees, almost covered in thick snow. weird…..

So im back in Helsinki (still staying and not going home to the UK)  but im recovering. Luckily I have much support from my friends and im getting on OK. Im making a good recovery I think, but will stop typing now as it hurts like hell! see you for my next blog in a few months I think! wish me luck!

I was travelling back from Sastamalla and had the sounds of tori amos playing in the car, and the sky was electric. It was so beautiful I had to write a poem/short verse about it.

Pastel shades of magnetic blue, sunset orange and pink hew

Laying wide across the evening sky whilst I drive with you,

Distant is this land far and wide, deep snow drifts that have many secrets it hides

Hidden under a white winter coat, lye a land that is soft and green

The water runs clear into a glacier pool reflecting shades of magnetic blue, sunset orange and pink hew.

Tall the trees they rise so high lifting their branches far into the sky,

Soft are their branches, green and rich, combed with wintery white deep snow drifts,

They cluster up in patches of land, so vast they are and how they look so far

Across and land silhouetted with pastel shades of magnetic blue, sunset orange and pink hew.

Electric sky, beautiful land, I feel that you indeed have found my hand

Taking me with you to another place, where I can look again upon your fair face,

For soft are you and so full of pastel shades of magnetic blue, sunset orange and pink hew.

Breathless am I, a beautiful painting you should be,

Pen to paper, ink and paint but I can’t seem to paint it because you are so free

And I think that is the way that it is meant to be,

A beautiful bird you should be, showing off colours of magnetic blue, sunset orange and pink hew.

My final shift at this resturant that im currently working in is looming to an end, im now thinking about just kicking back and letting the good times roll….Christmas period is coming fast and with only a few days to go the anticipation is building and im really looking forward to a change of scene. Wednesday morning comes the 23rd of December and after getting ready, making some food and then getting packed my good friend Elina and her boyfriend pick me up in Espoo with the car and we drive to Elina’s mum and dad’s house in Sastamalla, which is near Tampere in the middle west of Finland. The town was originally called Vamalla but they changed the name recently as it meant “handicapped” in Finnish, which I guess did not appeal to the image that they wanted to portray!

Anyway it was really warm in Helsinki and the snow was turning into “snowman material snow” the type that sticks and gets icey and slippery to walk on, and on our way up we noticed that the tempature dropped from 2 to -5c. Happy days, winter was back again! I think that the colder the weather is the better it is, and im pro normal winters so anything above zero is worrying in Finland at this time of year! It was really misty driving up to Sastamalla and very beautiful too. It was almost haunting in a way when the light from the street lamps far away reflected and backlit the trees and made them look like silhouettes against a cold stary sky, I often gaze in wonder at the night sky – especially in Finland as it feels so remote and distant from where I stand to where the stars blink at me.

We arrived here to find familiar faces and warm smiles. There were 10 of us here, plus 2 dogs and a baby girl, I have never had such a christmas before that has been so full of people. It was very different and I have had a very good feeling about this for some time now. I do and always think of my family back home but this year I must admit that it was actually a blessing tha I was away, after 28 years i have always been at home and now I am finally doing something different and it was really something to me to experience. One that I shall never forget!

Christmas eve is the main day of celebrations in Finland, which is something I also think that most of Europe celebrate on this day to, and that in itself was unusual because we always do everything on the 25th so it was really fun to do it a day earlier! We all rised really early which was great as we really had the whole day to do stuff. Had some breakfast and my friend and I went to the local store and brought some slays, as we had decided that we wanted to go sledging in the afternoon, we also brought a few beers because we decided to get abit tipsy aswell! So we messed about abit in the morning watched the traditional Snowman and then had some porridge for lunch, which is tradtional for this family, with some fruit sauce and bread. It is very filling and really nice. It was Elina’s birthday today too, so we sat down and had some birthday cake which was cool. I ate loads today and am now sure that a serious fat camp is coming when I get back home to Helsinki! After all that we went sledging. Im not that great! I have a massive bruise on my arse the size of Africa thanks to the new sledge, which is really fast and collided me into the fence at full speed! yikes! it was really cool though and it felt wonderfully good to be doing some snow activities on christmas day! the first time in many years! and we are all such good friends, it was so much fun to have everyone enjoying themselves and rushing down hills and slopes with them!

We came back, wet but happy and went upstairs to have some gloggi, and chill out till the evening meal was served. Finns eat alot of fish, salmon and other varities, and I must say that it looked amazing. But I never ate any as im a vegetarian and even though I have thought about it, I just could not bring myself to do it, and I think that I may never be able to again, unless for health reasons I have to. It was a sure test but I passed, wether for good or ill. After dinner we sat down together and the baby girl Kertu opened her gifts and then was put down to sleep. She is such a beautiful baby and brought so much joy to everyone there. Athough the next day, she suffered from a fever, but is now recovering and has been given so much love. We opened our gifts, my friend Ellias came dressed up as Santa, which was good fun, and everyone exchanged gifts. Then we all got abit drunk, listened to music and passed out at 4am!

I have had such a wonderfull day today. It makes me realise how lucky I am in my life to have such warm and magical friends about me to lift me up, I thank them for that and may 2010 be filled with love, light and more happiness along the way.

Now when you are travelling in a new country, one of the things that you simply must do is travel… and by travelling I mean not getting on the bus to work everyday, which has it times of prickly excitement but I mean getting in a car or on a train and going somewhere! one of the first oppertunities that I got to travel was to a small town which is very distinct in design called  Jyväskylä. Try pronoucing that one! I was actually going to a works christmas party up there, it is about 400 km north of Helsinki and about 5 hours on the train.

It was a pretty hairy morning actually, from such things that would turn anyone cold, the longshot is I got on the train very early in the morning and set off with a good a heart and smile.  I must admit that travelling through Finland is a experience, the countryside is just beautiful although it can get rather monotinous! tree after tree after tree. But those trees are great! and theres so many of them! its like a great giant woodland realm, dotted with funny little wooden houses and giant lakes that strech on and flow through the glades. Finnish transport is very good most of the time, and generally usually really on time. Which can be annoying as UK trains are generally late so you cant get away with being a minute late or even 30 seconds as it would have already gone.  Im not great at timing so I have learnt my lesson a few times here!

Jyväskylä is a fairly modern city with all the modern types of facilities with a strong influence in Education and sports. However the town centre area is older, built around the late 19th to 20th century, consists of many small wooden houses, shops and a very pretty railway building. I was very suprised to see all the wonderfull christmas lights displayed and felt that therewas alot of magic in this town. The town in situated next to Jyväsjarvi a large Finnish lake.  I can imagin that its a really nice city in the summer. Today was -15 so I guess not so glamourous as it could be. There was no snow either, well nor in Helsinki, so all the dazzling christmas lights were shining crookedly on the wet pavement.

We went to this really great theatre play in the main theatre (a bit of an ugly building – kinda post thatcher UK) but bareable. The theatre inside was nice. We went to see this play about a russian guard who was an imposter and took control of the town. My Finnish is OK, its not amazing! I got the general jist of it, infact its fairly entertaining not knowing half of what is being said, as it leaves more to the imagination. The play was brilliantly done and everyone came out feeling really good.  One of my favorate scenes was when these 2 women (one looked like a flanders girl) and the other was a pretty daughter who looked abit maidish were in a made up room with a large mirror and dressing box, trying to compete to get to the mirror andbeing very vain! The music was some kind of 1920s russian music which was really cool!

We went out to this wonderful indian resturant (I didnt do the phall challenge chris) and then after I went back the same day to Helsinki. It was only a day trip but im really glad that I am starting to travel abit more now, life seems to be somehow sorting itself out, usually the way that it does, although sometimes it can feel so strange to be doing this!

POP!  that was the noice of the cork coming out of the bottle that I brought from Alko, which was worth every penny! and tasted just as good! well extactic is the new word! what on earth to say about my emotions at that point, after interview an hour later I was in work – amazing! and such a finnish job too, all Finns working their, speaking Finnish and helping the environment. Fabulous! I am a now coming to a point in my life where my career needed a new light to it, the battery  was running out…dead end job to dead end job, finally I was doing something (be it shelf stacking) in my area of where I wanted to be – aka environmental NOT shelves (although i kinda liked them) My first day was a blur, like most first  days it tends to be all smiles and no frowns. I was generally happy to be working, I had been off for too long! now I had quality routine. The shop is very small, and filled with interesting stuff. I had no ideawhat a Goja berry was or hemp seeds before, well now I do and all the better for it. The job has turned a few things about for me, I was able to explore without worrying too much about cash, I was able to go out and  shake my butt from time to time, and I was able to get to work with really nice and friendly (although slightly cautious and abit quiet) people. Im sure that I have injected some energy into the place, as to what I am not vain enough to say or even consider it so.

Its  rather strange being asked by someone what something is or where in a langauge totally unfamiliar. finnish is one of those langauges that will take 10 years  to learn – seriously. Its almost heart wrenching when you have to proclaim you are english – SPOTLIGHT ON THE ENGLISH MAN! but its great to learn whats going on, and in my first week I had picked up loads of fun and exciting words like…..boxes, and delivery!  oh the joy of learning a new langauge!

I must say though that I like EKOLO. Its finishing in january as its only temporary work, and my boss needs someone who can work the till (oh thats  terrible – I can work tills but just not communicate yet with customers) ie their is a langauge barrier here, and although my work is good, its a Finn they need next year – if they are employing more….

Hey – its an experience. I now have 2 other jobs that i got from this. teaching english and working in a restuarant, which is proving fruitfull as my wonderfull boss their may have work for me next year! so I gained alot from this job, its been really fun, and i achieved what i wanted to do….by the way what do I want to do?????

BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIINGGGGG! BRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! WAKE UP!  “its 10:30 am folks”

Yawn! oh no – not anotherday looking for work….write a plan, write a to do list……take a shower…….get dressed……eat…..go…… man plaese give me a break this is soooo routine!

Ok so the most draining yet in a way possitive time of the trip so far. It started from day dot, I was hoping to give birth to a new job by the end of the calander month…10 days get real! Ok so finding work….. its tough, I got so many regections. I was doing the old walking into a bar, shop, restaurant asking for work vaccancies. Most of the day I was talking to parrots No No No No No No. Sometimes I spoke to a cockatill No email us, No email us, No email us. Sometimes Id speak to a pigion, you want what? you want what? coo coo! occasionally I spoke to an eagle, oh sure we can help….”oh thats great!” next year! claws were out then dug right into me. I needed an owl.

Wheres the owl….im tired of walking around, so many days, my whole tune was running out of buzz. I went to the Eures adviser (a meant to be helpful lady that will help you) came out of the office with a useless regestration number, they cant help me find work because im not registered with the police! but im registered there, woopdidoo!

 One month later…..I was walking around Calio. This is a small hippy district of Helsinki, rather known for its bohemian way of life within the city. I was really cold, tired and fed up. After all it had been a month, I was not going out because I was saving money and I was feeling a little lost. I  decided that then and there I had to carry on, or fall, and go home. That was not an option. In words I cannot express wholy, I had  fallen in love with this city. The sky generally turned to this amazing light pastel grey blue, and when the sun set over the bay of Espoo it flicked bright orange sparks into the sky, which slowly melted away and the great cold dark hand of the north clasped its way into the sky realising  stars from its mighty cloak. The boats in the harbour were slowly tinkling with the wind, ting ting ting, soft chimes and laps of waves hit the shore, my face was frozen from the wind, I could smell turps from the wooden boat hut, the trees stood tall and were gathering the  dusk in their leaves, the sun that was bright was now sinking and splintering into a thousand peices on the sparkling ocean bay.

I went into a shop called EKOLO (an environmental health shop)  I knew that in my heart I would never be able to work there and couldnt stand another parrot NO, I went in, looked about, stopped. Came out. Walked forward and stopped. I turned back, I turned back and asked.

It was my first job in Finland.